Location:Home > Ladies underwear > left knee and their wee-knee. Q: When would you want a man's company? A: When he owns it. Q: What d

left knee and their wee-knee. Q: When would you want a man's company? A: When he owns it. Q: What d

Time:2019-07-26 22:39Underwear site information Click:

Stories funny humor Men Jokes Male Jokes

Back to: Dirty Jokes


Q: What's the difference between a man and a condom?
A: Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!

Q: What's the most common sleeping position of a man?
A: Around.

Q: What does a penis and an ego have in common?
A: All men have one!

Q: What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A: A power failure.

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A: "Is it in?"

What is the difference between a man and a vulture?
A vulture waits until you're dead before ripping your heart out.

Q: How can you tell if your man is happy?
A: Who cares?

Q: How many knees do men really have?
A: 3.... right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.

Q: When would you want a man's company?
A: When he owns it.

Q: What do you give a man with everything?
A: Penicillin.

Q: Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Q: What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day?
A: A Terrorwrist

Q: What do you call a man with an opinion?
A: Wrong.

Q: Why don't women blink during sex?
A: There isn't enough time.

Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.

Q: Why do so few men end up in Heaven?
A: They never stop to ask for directions

Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work.

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys watching a football game.

Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A: Make him wear shoes.

Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.

Q: Why are men sexier than women?
A: You can't spell sexy without xy.

Why are men like lawn mowers?
They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells and don't work half the time!

Q: Why doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job?
A: He still ends up with the same boss.

Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their DNA.

Q: What do you call a married man vacuuming?
A: Doing what he's told...

Q: Why don't some men have a mid-life crisis?
A: They're stuck in adolescence.

Q: Why are Men like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are already taken!

Q: Why are men like cars?
A: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming. 

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q: How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
A: Two - if you slice them very thinly.

Q: What is the difference between a glass of wine and a man?
A: A glass of wine hits the spot everytime.

Q: Why did the man keep going in circles?
A: He didn't get the point.

Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they are pigs.

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A: Jack

Q: How does the man help clean the house?
A: Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: "It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"

Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q: What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth?
A: A GLAD-HE-ATE-HER

Q: How do males exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q: What are a married man's two greatest assets?
A: A closed mouth and an open wallet.

Q: What is all the fuss about when it comes to men and big boobs?
A: They take alot of lip and they dont talk back.

Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut?
A: Tug-of-whore.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

Q. Why don't women have men's brains?
A. Because they don't have penises to keep them in!

Q: What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A: All invented by women.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q: Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips?
A: Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.

Q: Why did god invent men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn

Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: They all already have boyfriends.

Q: How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
A: All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do so much better.

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Bonds mature.

Q: How do you scare a man?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!

Q: How is a man like a used car?
A: Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable!

Q: How do you stop a man from raping you?
A: Throw him the remote control.

Q: Why do men prefer blondes?
A: Because they like intellectual companionship.

Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
A: A barbercue

Q: What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A: A pizza and a six pack.

Q: What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
A: Patient!

Q: What is the difference between a man and a tree?
A: One is illegal to hit with an ax.

Q: What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
A: Exchange him.

Q: What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A: A tearjerker.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What do men and mascara have in common?
A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Q: What do you call a man who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor.

Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A: They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!

Q: Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A: So men can be open minded.

Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
A: The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

Q: What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
A: Sex.

Q: What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.

Q: What's the smartest thing a man can say?
A: "My wife says..."

Q: How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper?
A: We don't know it's never happened.

Q: What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover?
A: A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.

Q: Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
A: So men can understand them.

Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys an extra case of beer.

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?
A: The man.

Copyright infringement? Click Here!

Related reading
Related recommend